Comments on: What about the AFTER-life?

By: Senia.com Positive Psychology Coaching » Delayed Gratification vs. Enjoying the Present

Tue, 12 Jun 2007 17:50:09 +0000

[...] a comment last month, Michael writes, So, my question is: if success is often dependent on delayed gratification and [...]

By: Michael Felberbaum

Michael Felberbaum — Thu, 24 May 2007 20:49:10 +0000

I like the distinction between the now-life and the after-life. Kind of mirrors my understanding of my expectations and my current conditions, both of which seem to be constantly influencing each other.

I would like to complicate this discussion a little bit by thinking about a study I just heard about. I’m sure you know it already. I heard it on a CD I’m listening to on business development. The study was conducted by Daniel Goleman, I think, in order to test delayed gratification. In the study, the researchers left a marshmallow in the room and told a child that if they ate it, that is the only marshmallow they’d get. If they waited until the researcher came back, they’d get a WHOLE bag of marshmallows. Not surprisingly, the conclusion was to draw a parallel between succcess and delayed gratification.

So, my question is: if success is often dependent on delayed gratification and happiness is often dependent on enjoying the present, as well as achieving some measure of success, then how do we reconcile all these things?

By: Senia.com Positive Psychology Coaching » You Just Ate Our Conversation

Senia.com Positive Psychology Coaching » You Just Ate Our Conversation — Tue, 15 May 2007 04:16:37 +0000

[...] She said we are always eating. We are always taking in experiences, things around us, and we can choose how we take in things around us. We can choose the way that makes us less stressed, and we can choose the way that makes us more alive. [...]

By: Senia.com Positive Psychology Coaching » Business Game #002: Most, Best, First

Tue, 08 May 2007 03:59:24 +0000

[...] BEST, FIRST is envigorating. It’s alive. And as Czsikszentmihalyi says, the question he would most want to ask all the people in the world is, “To what degree do you feel [...]

By: Empowering Links: Week of 6th May - Life Coaches

Empowering Links: Week of 6th May - Life Coaches — Sun, 06 May 2007 07:41:41 +0000

[...] What are you doing in the now-life to make yourself happy? Not in the after-life where you’ll be happy after you make that million or get that new car, but your now-life. [...]

By: sss35

sss35 — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 03:22:55 +0000

It’s funny but when I was a medical intern and spending alot of time in the hospital caring for sick pts and feeling overtaxed, it was also a time that I felt really “alive”. It was draining work but also a constant reminder of how fortunate most of us are to be healthy and able to walk out of the hospital post-call on a sunny day and be wowed by the brightness of a flower blooming next to the sidewalk. The appreciation for these small things (and big things!) was effortless at that time. Maybe this is a case for times in life that are characterized by a degree of self-deprivation and intensity.

My husband (who I was dating at that time) jokes that I romanticize those years now. I wonder why this is, vs. a colleague of mine who describes herself as clinically depressed during the same residency and looks back on those years as an entirely unpleasant experience. For both of us, it’s in the past, and both of us seem reasonably content with our present circumstances.

By: senia

senia — Tue, 17 Apr 2007 00:33:32 +0000

Barbara, I completely see all those things on your blog! Especially the happiness ties throughout!

As to your point #3, by accepting the love that is pouring in, you are returning the sentiment. :)

Thank you for your answer.
Best to you,
Senia

By: Barbara

Barbara — Mon, 16 Apr 2007 07:43:12 +0000

What am I doing in the NOW-life that makes me happy?
1. Teaching yoga.
2. Propounding Happiness in my blog posts.
3. Accepting all of the love that keeps pouring in without worrying about returning the sentiments.
4. Practice, practice, practice (being happy).

By: senia

senia — Fri, 13 Apr 2007 15:16:08 +0000

What am I doing in the NOW-life that makes me happy? You'll totally laugh, but ok: * I love challenging classes at the gym - like interval classes or especially intense workouts - they make me happy during and after. * Again, you'll totally laugh, but a great friend of mine makes super steamed vegetables - mostly cauliflower with other vegetables with cumin and corriander - and sometimes we add soy sauce afterwards - that food is sooooo good! * I love checking off my priority every day. There is one work priority I've been experimenting with in the past couple of weeks, and I love making sure that I do that every day. It challenges me, and the everydayness of it grounds me. * I love brushing my teeth (I know that's weird) - that's probably why I used that example. * I love talking with friends in the evening on the phone, after work, after the gym. It is so nice to catch up in a relaxed state. Two great sources:

Here is a blog devoted to Good Habits for Students.
Here is a meme (that I read on Alvaro's SharpBrains site) on simply successful secrets, and the way I think about these is "what habits do I have that make me happy?"