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Wednesday November 29, 2006

The Three Sentences of A.P.E.

Filed under: Positive Psychology, All, Self-Talk — Senia @ 6:14 am
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Now that we know how to get out of a bad mood, here is the shortcut below.
Bad moods most often start in the head. With a thought. About something bad. A person can decide to either allow that thought to grow or to nip it in the bud. Here is what nipping a bad-mood-creating thought in the bud looks like:

This is something a friend of mine asked me about recently. Suppose the thought is “she hates me” about a person that you know who may be acting less friendly towards you recently. This is what might be running through your head at the time: “Why is she acting less friendly? What did I do? Why doesn’t she like me? I haven’t changed. But maybe something I said offended her. Maybe she thinks I’m rude. Or mean. What did I do?”

Using the A.P.E. method, here are the three phrases that will be he most effective to quickly nip the bad mood in the bud. First of all, address the Alternatives:

Alternatives: “A more accurate way of seeing this is…”

A more accurate way of seeing this is … that maybe she is having some personal issues and is more tense, and maybe that’s coming across as not friendly.”

Then the Perspective:

Perspective: “The most likely thing to happen is … and I can …”

The most likely thing to happen is … that she won’t talk to me for a few days and then her mood will blow over and she’ll be friendly-friendly like before, and I can … just give her space in the meantime and wait for her to get there.”

And finally, Evidence:

Evidence: “That’s not true because …”

That’s not true that she hates me because … she passes me an extra pen today during class, and she held the door for me after class, and she didn’t NOT speak to me - she was just curt in her words.”

So, there you have it - the three A.P.E. sentences to turn to when in a bad mood … or when a bad run-on, negative dialogue gets stuck in your head like an Alvin-and-the-Chipmunks tune.

ENJOY trying these sentences out!

2 Comments »

  1. Hey, nice site. You do good with this stuff. :)

    Comment by Stuart Richards — Thursday November 30, 2006 @ 5:14 am

  2. […] The three shortcut sentences for the A.P.E. Method. Karen Reivich, co-author of The Resilience Factor, suggests some concrete […]

    Pingback by Senia.com Positive Psychology Coaching » How to Get Out of a Bad Mood - the A.P.E. Method! — Wednesday March 28, 2007 @ 7:14 pm

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