Senia.com Positive Psychology Coaching

Hi guys! Here’s what you’ve seen on senia.com in August, 2006! Thanks for stopping by this month!!!

The Brain

Expertise is Trainable! - nurture may be winning over nature in the debate of how expertise develops. First, You Copy - copying can be an excellent way to gain expertise. Consistency - what do you choose to develop your expertise in? (aiming for a one-shot win or steady-Eddie getting things done).

Doing Can Be Easier Than Not Doing - get something done (like watering your plants) when you think of it rather than wasting brain space by remembering to do it later. How to Diminish Effects of Stress on the Brain - mainly, the answer is exercise (and sleep, diet, and physical activity). Change One Habit at a Time - focus on one habit with examples from rock climbing. Quantum Speech - jardon is key to understanding a field or industry.

Recommendations

It looks like I’m getting more into recommendations: * On the Web: funny David Cowan post, great brain resource Sharpbrains.com, love-this-one! Dave Shearon blog, super video of Dancing Matt, a few great articles about the new eight planets!, and a small critique of a a NYT article about one-size-fits-all bright-color interior. * Books: Feynman’s Rainbow and two books I like described by Dave Shearon. * On TV: Josh Ritter on Conan O’Brien .

Regularly-Scheduled Fun Stuff :)

Tuesday Stories:

The Ant’s Big Idea Birds in the Sand Thinking about Two Things at Once (mini-story) Giant Undercover “Are Elephants Like Dinosaurs?”

Thursday Quotes:

Self-assurance, not always roar, on friendship, early in life, and yes.

Friday Questions:

What makes you feel most alive? What questions do you want me to ask you? Where you would live and why? What questions do you ask yourself to get in a good mood?

See you in September! Rabbit rabbit! Senia

I imagine that yes is the only living thing. ~ e. e. cummings

Evelyn also posted about this quote.

Hello and welcome to a great new site. This is a classmate of mine from last year’s Master of Positive Psychology program, and he is a wonderful person. He has a super blog about positive psychology and applications to law and to education.

Here is Dave Shearon’s blog! I’m a big fan of Dave’s blog. It’s very descriptive and very detailed and very alive! Check it out yourself!

One of Dave’s last posts was a summary of Positive Psychology Books that he recommends. Great, great summary. I especially like Dave’s summaries of these two books, which are absolutely among my favorites:

The Happiness Hypothesis, Haidt (2005) It’s not just intelligences that are multiple! Try multiple brains! Or, at least, multiple relatively independent systems in the brain. Haidt’s metaphor of the rider and the elephant is worth reading the book. Great writer. Sound insights. The Paradox of Choice, Schwartz. Are you generally a “maximizer” or “satisficer”? Should you care? Good book not only for consumers, but for achievers. Since nothing’s ever “finished”, what does “do your best” mean?

And here is an absolutely delightful little entry called “Poof!” that I find myself recalling with a smile!

Here is a positive psychology study that Dave created for high school students along with two other classmates of ours: high school study.

And here is the positive psychology section of Dave’s blog that I really, really enjoy.

Just because I read him for the positive psychology, don’t think that you shouldn’t tune in for the education, how to run schools, and law discussions! Nice, nice insights. ENJOY!

p.s. I specifically meant to post this on August 30!

Welcome to Story Tuesday. :) Here are other places you may want to check out on Story Tuesdays!… Dave’s site and Jason’s writing area.

Anthills are little hills of sand, in which an entire ant population can live. Anthills look like upside-down ice cream cones - the base of the anthill near the ground is wide and the tip of the anthill is just one small grain of sand.

One day, an ant wanted to build the tallest anthill that he could. He was a small ant, and he didn’t think he could build the tallest anthill just by carrying the most sand. He knew many ants had to work together to build massive anthills. Now we all know how anthills are made - ants start from the bottom, carry enough sand in their little mouths to make a wide base for the hill, and keep building up, higher and higher. Then the queen ant gets the royal privilege of carrying the last grain of sand to the very top of the sand hill, and when she drops that grain of sand onto the anthill, all the ants gather below and they clap their tiny little antlegs, meaning that an anthill has been completed. The small ant wanted to build an enormous anthill - he wanted everyone to be proud of him - his mother ant, his father ant, his two sister ants, and especially the queen ant.

So the small ant got to thinking, “How can I build the tallest anthill there ever was?” And he thought, “Well, I don’t need to make my anthill look like an upside-down ice cream cone. I’ll make my anthill look like a ladder going all the way up into the sky.” And the small ant got so excited by his idea that he started making a plan to match his idea. He said to himself, “I’ll just make all the sand grains stand up straight.” So the ant went to the sand pile (which some might say looked like an unintentional anthill to begin with), and he started carrying back pieces of sand in his mouth. And the small ant put all the grains of sand in one spot, and the spot started growing higher, and the ant was so excited. The ant’s mouth was sticky when he carried the sand to his new tallest anthill, and so that stickiness made the sand stick together. But then the ant looked closer at his new tallest anthill, and he saw that his anthill was beginning to drop away - his anthill had a thin top and a wide bottom, and the small ant kept taking sand from the bottom and moving it to the top, but the sand would just come down again and again and make a wide bottom and a thin top. Then the ant started licking the sandpile up because he knew that when he saw little children lick an ice cream cone up, then the ice cream cone changed its shape and grew taller. But, alas, every time, with every one of his licks, the sand kept falling back down to make a wider base and a thinner top.

So the ant grew quite sad, and he went walked around the woods, with his head down, very very sad. And then he came to a tree and he sat underneath that tree, and he started crying because he still wanted to build the tallest anthill, but he didn’t know how.

All of a sudden, he felt a leaf on his shoulder, “There, there,” said some part of the leaf, “Why are you crying on such a marvelous day - you should be playing and celebrating.”

“Oh, who are you?” asked the ant.

“I am the grapevine that grows along this tree, see? Look up, and you will see me all around the tree, my leaves growing up and up and up. Why are you crying?”

“I wanted to build the tallest anthill, but the sand kept falling down…and…” and then the small ant started crying again.

“Oh, that’s not so bad,” said the vine.

“What do you mean it’s not so bad?”

“Well,” answered the grapevine while moving her leaves to emphasize what she was saying, “There are many ways to make something tall.”

“Why? How do you mean?” asked the ant, and with that he stopped crying.

“Well, look at me for instance. I am not very strong, but I am very tall because I hold on to the tree delicately along each of my leaves.”

“How do you get to be so tall?” asked the small ant.

“I started from the bottom, and kept reaching up, and every time a new leaf of mine grew, I made a small bond to the tree, a light hold, just to hold me a little taller.”

“Oh!!” said the ant, suddenly getting his energy back, “maybe I can make my anthill very tall too!”

“Maybe you can. Enjoy the marvelous day,” said the vine.

“Thank you! Thank you!” said the ant and ran back to his home.

Suddenly the ant knew how to make the tallest anthill. The small ant went back to the sandpile and brought over some grains of sand in his mouth, and he pushed the grains of sand into the tree bark to make the sand stick, and the sand stuck. So the small ant climbed his tree-anthill and put more grains of sand on top, and more, and more, and soon the anthill was going up into the sky.

Now the ant had chosen a very tall tree, so tall that the ants could not see where in the sky the tree ended, and the small ant wanted to build the tree-anthill right up into that nothingness, into that sky at the top of the tree. The small ant kept building all day and even when it was dark out, he kept building all night, and in the morning, the anthill went right up the tree into the sky, into the nothingness.

Then all of his ant friends came and they ooed and ahhed, and asked, “but how did you know to build such an anthill?” The ant smiled to himself because he knew the vine had helped him. Then the ant invited the queen ant to carry the last grain of sand up his tree-anthill. And once she had come down, everyone clapped for the ant with the great idea for the tallest anthill!

I’ve learned two things in the past couple of decades: 1) Memorize important phone numbers. 2) To learn a new field - get the jargon down.

Jargon catapults you from a mailroom clerk to a business equal in any discussion. No wonder Liza Dolittle was hailed as a princess at the ball. She knew the customs and the jargon: “How nice of you to let me come.”

Imagine that you want to switch careers, for example, from Finance to Media. You might switch wht you’re reading: goodbye Wall Street Journal and Financial Times, hello Daily Variety and Cable & Broadcasting. You might start following weekend box office profits rather than the S&P500.

The jargon of a business, an industry, a group of people tells you so much about the people. Jargon crystalizes the concerns, major attitudes, expectations of a whole new world. Jargon is like the Cliffs’ Notes to a business.

On Wall Street, daily jargon includes matching people that bring “value added” to projects, giving the client everything “from soup to nuts”, looking at the big picture “at the end of the day,” and examining worst-case scenarios for “when the shit hits the fan.” The irony is the same phrases that sound cliche also make a lot of sense at the same time! Value added is one of the most important ideas in business. The best possible end-of-year review commends the employee for adding value to the firm.

An idea tediously pervasive in a culture is often surprisingly acute. Cliches often summarize the crux of an issue. The contradictions in “out of sight, out of mind” and “distance makes the heart grow fonder” underscore the conflict of having a close friend move far away.

Similarly, old wives’ tales are effective despite being common knowledge. The best way to cure a cold is still chicken soup, drinking liquids, and staying in bed.

Listening for the jargon in people’s speech is like picking up pieces of quantum speech, useful tidbits. Have you ever noticed that you speak differently to different people or to different groups of people? You just don’t use as many “like”s when making a presentation or speaking in front of a class.

Two people find a common wavelength to speak on. The wavelength may include common jargon, and jargon or mannerisms from each person. Jargon may get transmuted this way, like a telephone game, from person to person to person. Bits of quantum speech traveling the world.

I know an 80-year-old woman who wakes up every morning, goes to the mirror, and says, “I am so beautiful. Hello, me. Hello to the whole world. I am so young, so elegant, so beautiful, and so much fun. Have a super day, me!” And, most importantly, these aren’t just words to her: saying these things makes her feel great!

What things can you say to yourself to make yourself feel great? And, what’s even more interesting to me, what can you ask yourself to make yourself feel great?!

Q: What questions do you ask yourself to get in a good mood?

Here are some I ask myself: * What would it take for you to feel calm and great? * So what? * What’s the best thing that can come from this? * What did you learn from this? And why is it likely to not happen again? * How did you feel last time you felt really good and calm and great?

On Fridays, I post questions… would love it if you feel like answering!

“Babies are such a nice way to start people.” ~ Don Herrold

“Human beings are the only creatures on Earth that allow their children to come back home.”
~ Bill Cosby

“Diaper backward spells repaid. Think about it.” ~ Marshall McLuhan

“If your baby’s “beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time,” you’re the grandma.”
~ Theresa Bloomingdale

A little different: “Man’s main task in life is to give birth to himself, to become what he potentially is.” ~ Erich Fromm

NEWER NEWS: There are 8 planets, and Pluto isn’t one of them.

In a stunning reversal, astronomers who were ready to expand the solar system by three planets just last week voted to shrink it yesterday instead, stripping Pluto of its status as the solar system’s most distant and quirkiest planet. (From Baltimore Sun). The decision by the prestigious international group spells out the basic tests that celestial objects will have to meet before they can be considered for admission to the elite cosmic club…. Much-maligned Pluto doesn’t make the grade under the new rules for a planet: “a celestial body that is in orbit around the sun, has sufficient mass for its self-gravity to overcome rigid body forces so that it assumes a … nearly round shape, and has cleared the neighborhood around its orbit.” … Pluto is automatically disqualified because its oblong orbit overlaps with Neptune’s. Instead, it will be reclassified in a new category of “dwarf planets.” (From Detroit Press). “It could be argued that we are creating an umbrella called ‘planet’ under which the dwarf planets exist,” [Jocelyn Bell Burnell, a specialist in neutron stars from Northern Ireland who oversaw the proceedings] said, drawing laughter by waving a stuffed Pluto of Walt Disney fame beneath a real umbrella. (From Detroit Press).

OLDER NEWS: You’ve probably heard the news. The International Astronomical Union (IAU) got together last week and proposed a new definition of “planet” that would mean that we have 12 planets instead of 9. Here is an excerpt from the article on space.com:

The definition, which basically says round objects orbiting stars will be called planets, is simple at first glance: “A planet is a celestial body that (a) has sufficient mass for its self-gravity to overcome rigid body forces so that it assumes a hydrostatic equilibrium (nearly round) shape, and (b) is in orbit around a star, and is neither a star nor a satellite of a planet.” “Our goal was to find a scientific basis for a new definition of planet and we chose gravity as the determining factor,” said Richard Binzel, an MIT planetary scientist who was part of a seven-member IAU committee that hashed out the proposal. “Nature decides whether or not an object is a planet.”

Here is a very enjoyable NYTimes essay by Dennis Overbye about the twelve planets. The essay notes that several potential mnemonics are coming out for kids to memorize the order of the “planets”: “My Very Excellent Mother Could Just Serve Us Nuts, Pizza, Carrots ’n’ Xylophones!” (by David Sturm). The essay also discusses the controvesial “No Ice Ball Left Behind” policy. :)

Note: I’m actually glad about the reasoning for the new definition. I’ve been reading a bit of Feynman recently, and he says to keep questioning things. The Binzel quote above outlines gravity as the scientific basis of the definition. That makes a lot of sense to me. What do you think?

A lot of the best lessons that I’ve learned about life, I’ve learned from rockclimbing. When I first got into indoor rock climbing, it was through six classes, meeting every Tuesday, at Planet Granite, and our instructor was Kris, in case she’s still teaching there. She is an incredible instructor. She’s a young rock climber, and she climbs wonderfully. Our class was six women, and the best part about it is that we worked on one new technique every week.

That’s it. One new technique. This means that we learned six new techniques. All those are still the basics of what I use to climb today. It is my favorite way to learn anything: one habit at a time.

You could try to learn two at a time, but then one of the things your mind becomes engaged in is monitoring the transitions, “Am I climbing close enough to the wall? Oh, I forgot - am I using quiet hands? Oh, close enough to the wall? … Quiet hands?” Just the mental switching from thought to thought can make you less effective in addressing either new habit.

Like I was telling a friend recently in an email, the best thing I can do for myself when I’m going for a run is to think only about the running (the running, my breathing, the road, but really only about the run itself). Once my mind starts to wander and think about work or friends, I physically find myself slowing down and sometimes stopping! One thing at a time.

Daniel Gilbert in his Stumbling on Happiness says a similar thing - the mind can either imagine something visually or it can observe something visually - it does not do both at the same time because the brain uses the same wiring to IMAGINE seeing as something as it uses in actually SEEING something. So, if you’re running, and start to picture an issue at work that you’re working on resolving, then your mind starts to IMAGINE the work issue in all its details, and STOPS SEEING IN YOUR MIND the road, seeing your lungs getting healthier, seeing your fast-paced stride.

The mind is a powerful motivator of the body. This is one of the benefits many people that meditate regularly give about their meditation - that just learning to focus on one thing is initially difficult and incredibly rewarding as a feeling.

Finally, Ben Franklin in his life worked on changing fifteen of his habits, including temperance (moderation in food and drink), laziness, organization, etc. Franklin addressed one habit per week. His goal was to be impeccable in that habit in that week, and to ignore the other habits during that week. he succeeded in going through all fifteen habits in fifteen weeks, and then he started them right up again for the following fifteen weeks. But again, one at a time. Focus.

One thing at a time. Simplicity. Making it easy. Making winning easy. If I were Mr. Miyagi, I would end this post with “wax on, wax off.”

This is a great book about Richard Feynman. It’s writted by Leonard Mlodinow, who was a young faculty member at Caltech while Feynman was a Nobel-prize-winning professor there. Mlodinow audio recorded several conversations with Feynman about life and about how and why Feynman did science. Mlodinow describes how years later he pulled the Radio Shack audio cassettes out of his basement and realized that he wanted to uncover Feynman’s thoughts and write them up.

Feynman’s Rainbow is written as a series of stories of Mlodinow himself figuring out how and why physics works and academia works interspersed with pages of direct quotes from Feynman.

Best parts of the book: Feynman talking about why he does science, Feynman describing his first love Arlene, Feynman scolding Mlodinow about Mlodinow’s reasons for choosing one research area over any other. It’s an active book. You hear the two characters Mlodinow and Feynman talking. It’s nice.

Surprising parts of the book: The string theory explanantion was surprisingly interesting. Also, just how much of a kid Feynman was - was surprisingly interesting. Just that he had to take everything apart and put it back together himself before believing it.

One of the best messages: Do what you love, man. Because otherwise, there could come a time when you’re looking at the ceiling and you have no reason for doing what you do. Avoid that, love it in the first place.
(Messages are personal, what a person gets out of a book is usually quite personal, so this is just one of the best messages).

Reading this book also made me go back to the library and immediately check out the two great books of stories that Feynman wrote about his own life: Surely You’re Joking, Mr. Feynman and What Do You Care What Other People Think?: Further Adventures of a Curious Character.