I know an 80-year-old woman who wakes up every morning, goes to the mirror, and says, “I am so beautiful. Hello, me. Hello to the whole world. I am so young, so elegant, so beautiful, and so much fun. Have a super day, me!” And, most importantly, these aren’t just words to her: saying these things makes her feel great!

What things can you say to yourself to make yourself feel great? And, what’s even more interesting to me, what can you ask yourself to make yourself feel great?!

Q: What questions do you ask yourself to get in a good mood?

Here are some I ask myself:
* What would it take for you to feel calm and great?
* So what?
* What’s the best thing that can come from this?
* What did you learn from this? And why is it likely to not happen again?
* How did you feel last time you felt really good and calm and great?

On Fridays, I post questions… would love it if you feel like answering!


  1. Posted Friday August 25, 2006 at 8:42 am | Permalink

    I ask myself, “What was it that last made you feel incredible?”

    The momentum usually builds from there.

  2. Posted Friday August 25, 2006 at 9:35 am | Permalink

    When I’m not in a good mood I ask myself, “What needs do I have that are not being met at this point?” Some how knowing that helps change my mood. It takes the edge off, and then I try to find a way to meet these needs. Often, it involves me changing the way I think about things.

  3. Lila
    Posted Friday August 25, 2006 at 10:28 pm | Permalink

    All of these so far are great. Here’s another one that I don’t ask myself explicitly but think about often when I’m feeling down:
    How can I find the humor in this situation?

    Or: What can *I* do to improve things?

    Another good one: Where’s the chocolate?

    I like today’s question. I’m going to have to give it some more thought. Do you explicitly mean things you ask yourself when you’re not feeling so hot to make yourself feel better? Seems like it, but I’m just not sure.

  4. Posted Friday August 25, 2006 at 11:10 pm | Permalink

    Here’s one: ‘What am I grateful for in my life right now?’ always gets me :)

  5. Posted Monday August 28, 2006 at 2:16 am | Permalink

    This is an interesting question… I actually tend to run TOWARD the bad feeling. The internal monologue might go something like this.

    “Bah. Feeling very BAH.”

    “Oh am I now? Do you want to feel better?”

    “NO. I AM BAH.”

    “Ok, fine. So why are you so feeling BAH?”

    “Oh, don’t get me started. Blah blah blah blah! Blah! And Blah blah. BLAH BLAH! That REALLY ticks me off. And it hurts too. Wah! WAH WAH WAH!”

    “I see.”

    “Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about!”

    “I think it’s probably even worse than that though. Think about it. For example … ”

    “Sweet merciful jeebus on a candlestick! You’re totally right! THAT REALLY SUCKS!!!! AND I’M THE SUCK TOO!”

    “We’re doomed.”

    “Yes, doomed. So sad. Let me weep a little. Sob. Sniffle.”

    “I’m exhausted. Drained by all this sobbing and weeping.”

    “Yeah, me too. It can’t possibly be THIS bad, can it?”

    “Well, it’s bad, but it probably has happened to a lot of people before. I mean, there are SONGS and MOVIES about this, right? And they pull in big bucks at the box office and on iTunes.”

    “Hm. Maybe it’s not so bad after all. And you know what? Feeling bad makes me really tired. That makes me kind of mad. I feel ripped off!”

    “We should do something it. Something that shows that bad feeling just how little it matters to us!”

    “Yeah, TOTALLY! Sure, it’s BAD, but it doesn’t DEFINE US! WE RULE!”


    “Ok, we don’t rule, but we COULD. WE SHOULD! And we’re not going to do that by sitting on our ass.”

    “I still feel kind of bad though.”

    “That’s OK. We’ll get out of this. Let’s just go do something different the bad feeling won’t expect. That’ll show it.”

    “You’re on. Let’s go!”

  6. Posted Monday August 28, 2006 at 10:32 am | Permalink

    Jason, Elona, Lila, Alvin, Dave – Neat to read your thoughts. Thank you!

    I like the Lila idea of looking for humor in the situation (when I’m in the middle of a situation, sometime I just forget to do that!). Jason, your q of “what last made me feel incredible?” is one I’ve used before and one I strive to ask myself when I’m not feeling especially hot. It’s also a fast-good-feeler, like Alvin’s “what am I greateful for right now?”

    (Yes, Lila, the answer to your question is yes: how can I get myself into a good mood from a not good mood – what q can I ask to get myself there?).

    Elona and Dave have points that totally make sense – sometimes to get out of a bad mood, you have to thoroughly walk in it neck-deep first. Elona says that looking for what needs aren’t being met sometimes gets to that, and Dave says just being accepting of the bad mood can be useful. Both your comments remind me of the idea that respecting the negative emotions can make you more secure as a person.

    Next time I want to move from a bad mood to a good mood quickly, I’m going to ask the humor question (must remember to do so in the moment!), last time I felt incredible question, and grateful question. Cool, cool!

  7. Scott
    Posted Wednesday August 30, 2006 at 6:55 pm | Permalink

    Between bursts of profanity, I try to ask myself, What’s the worst that can happen? Yes, it’s bad. Yes, gonna be some problems, some disappointment, some difficulty. But really, will it be that bad?
    That tends to shame me into a lil perspective.

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  1. By senia.com » SENIA.COM Summary - August, 2006 on Wednesday November 22, 2006 at 2:08 am

    […] Friday Questions: What makes you feel most alive? What questions do you want me to ask you? Where you would live and why? What questions do you ask yourself to get in a good mood? […]