We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee.
~ Marian Wright Edelman
Month: May 2007
What makes a good blog post?
This brief list from SEO for WordPress. Love this list (I’m not always a list-person, but this one I think is just so sharp, and so representative of what it says! Bold added).
1. Good blog posts are laser-focused.
2. Good blog posts are relevant to the target audience.
3. Good blog posts are personable.
4. Good blog posts have original content.
5. Good blog posts are readable.
6. Good blog posts link to other relevant information.
7. Good blog posts have accurate, intriguing titles.
The Brain Yearning to Find a Path
About how Beethoven created Ode to Joy and heard it in his head even when he was deaf (he had mapped hearing so well in his brain):
“[Beethoven] heard it in a way that demonstrates our hunger for human adaptability. … The brain yearning to find a path to the outside world.”
~ John Hockenberry, journalist
At the human2.0 conference at the MIT Media Lab, ten minutes ago.
Marketing to the top people in the field
My favorite Seth Godin post so far this year:
[Rather than helping beginners get better at something,] you’re way better off helping the perfect improve. You’ll also sell a lot more management consulting to well run companies, high end stereos to people with good stereos and yes, church services to the already well behaved.
With Positive Psychology News Daily, we’re targeting people who work in and do research in Positive Psychology as well as people new to the field (“What is Positive Psychology?“) This Seth post is illuminating to me because yes, the people who get most excited about what we’re doing on Pos-Psych.com are the people passionate about the field to begin with: our best comment discussion people, our best guest articles, our best email responses – all come from people in the field and in the process of expanding the field!
Business Game #002: Most, Best, First
This game is about being in-the-moment. Being in-the-moment produces positive emotions. Positive emotions during savoring “create an upward spiral in our experiences, emotions, relationships, mental capacities, etc.,” according to Mirium Ufberg in this article.
Have you ever been around a person for whom so many things feel like a new experience? “This is the first time I’ve seen a flower that color!” Have you ever been around a person who tastes an apple pie with you at a restaurant, and says, “This is the best apple pie I’ve had in the past year!” And doesn’t that somehow feel good? Just that experience that you are with that person when she is tasting the best apple pie of the year. That’s a small example, but suppose someone says to you not only, “you made my day,” but “that’s the most wonderful thing I’ve heard all year.” Or what if you’re speaking with a colleague and he says, “Hey Senia, that’s the first time I’ve ever thought about this work situation that way!”
Being around people when they experience their MOST, BEST, FIRST is envigorating. It’s alive. And as Czsikszentmihalyi says, the question he would most want to ask all the people in the world is, “To what degree do you feel alive?”
—–
The Most, Best, First GAME
When: At any time – home or work.
How Long to Play: 10 seconds.
Players: Alone, with one person, or with many.
Materials Needed: None.
Goal of the Game: To savor and find those items that are the “most, best, first” experiences for you. Aim for one per day.
Examples:
- “Last week in Milan, I had the most delicious gelato I had ever tasted – caramel flavor!”
- “Today was the first switch-tables-for-each-course dinner networking meeting I’ve ever been to!”
- “This is the best book I’ve read all year!”
- You can even just think it to yourself: “This might be best business advice I’ve ever heard on NPR!”
Recognize when you are with someone (or by yourself) and are experiencing a “most, best, first” moment – say it out loudly, celebrate it. Invite that person to realize how incredible it is for you in that moment. You and that person are making history this day, as Seth Godin describes it. You will look back on this day and say, “Remember when I tried pomegranate tea for the first time?”
Government and censorship wrt “positive news”: posted on Pos-Psych.com
I’ve posted my May monthly article on Positive Psychology News Daily.
Is Mandating Positive News Good for Us?
There is some fun discussion in the comments so far.
Best,
Senia
What are you already doing right?
Taking Nick’s lead from yesterday’s business game, let’s turn it into this Friday Question:
What are you already doing right?!
Answers as usual in the comments – looking forward to reading yours.
:) Happy Friday, enjoy the great weather!
Senia
Business Game #001: The Most Motivating Question
Did you ever read The Most Dangerous Game? (Here it is if you want a fun 10-minute action-packed story).
Well, today, we’re all about the MOST MOTIVATING QUESTION. What question will get you excited, get you moving, and get you pumped?
In fact, if we want to look at it cynically, we can ask, “What is a question that well-polished motivational speakers ask the audience in order to get audience members convinced to follow the motivational speaker’s system?” I.e., this is an effective question because it can change the mood, expectations, and actions of the listener.
Let’s look at the components of such a mysterious question:
1) It will fill you with positive emotions such as happiness, awe, engagement – which is important because when you’re on an emotional high, you are more open to looking at broader solutions, according to research by Barbara Fredrickson.
2) It will energize you – important because then you can turn the question into action. “People who are persuaded verbally that they possess the capabilities to master given activities are likely to mobilize greater effort and sustain it than if they harbor self-doubts and dwell on personal deficiencies when problems arise,” says Albert Bandura.
3) It will make you feel confident – important because confidence is just about a mix of self-esteem and personal control, and these are two of four inner traits of happy people according to Ed Diener and David Myers.
So…. what is such a question?
—–
The Most Motivating Question GAME
When: When you want to motivate a person or people.
- At the start of a meeting
- In setting up a healthy mindset for a close friend or family to take action on his/her issue
- In starting to work with colleagues on a project
The Players: You and one or more people.
The Rules: Ask the question in a warm, open tone. If everyone if is a rush, preface the question with, “Before we figure out this particular solution, let’s see…”
The Question Itself:
Variations: “What are we doing right so far in this project?”
“Before we figure out this particular solution,
let’s see what we’re already doing right.”
You don’t want to lose what you’re already doing right when you move to do something else. Additionally, this creates:
1) a positive tone and gets everyone to think about the situation as a team,
2) energy because something something is already not-broken, and
3) confidence because without any didactic explanation, you’ve shown the team that they have already done things right before.
It’s that simple. What are we doing right already?
See Doug Turner’s article on using this question to open meetings.
This question leads to productive discussions:
- “You want to become a better salesperson. What are you already doing right? What if you did more of that?”
- “You want to race in the Master’s class cycling track finals. What are you already doing right in your training? What other things can you do to complement this training?”
- “You want to spend more quality time with your kids. What are you already doing right? How can you add to what you’re doing while keeping what you’re already doing right?”
What are you doing right today? :)
Enjoy the game. Play often, see how people react.
Censorship
The whole principle [of censorship] is wrong. It’s like demanding that grown men live on skim milk because the baby can’t have steak.
~ Robert Heinlein, The Man Who Sold the Moon
Did you ever hear anyone say, “That work had better be banned because I might read it and it might be very damaging to me?”
~ Joseph Henry Jackson
Censorship reflects a society’s lack of confidence in itself. It is a hallmark of an authoritarian regime.
~ Potter Stewart
The fact is that censorship always defeats its own purpose, for it creates, in the end, the kind of society that is incapable of exercising real discretion.
~ Henry Steele Commager
Censorship is advertising paid by the government.
~ Federico Fellini
Censorship ends in logical completeness when nobody is allowed to read any books except the books that nobody reads.
~ George Bernard Shaw
The trouble with censors is that they worry if a girl has cleavage. They ought to worry if she hasn’t any.
~ Marilyn Monroe
No Butter on Mondays :)
I’ve been on a health kick recently. And part of my health kick is eating bread on the weekends only – so no bread on weekdays. I really love fresh bread, so I tend to have a bit of it on the weekends. And I have bread with a thick swab of butter on it.
And then … the funny thing that happens is that the weekend is over, but on Monday I still crave butter.
Why do I crave butter on Mondays, and what can I do about it?
I’m asking more generally, how can you create a new habit for yourself such as:
- Exercising on Monday when you’ve lounged the weekend away, or – better yet – spent it in a daze in front of the TV.
- Prioritizing better at work after overloading yourself with to-do’s and promises to people.
- Skipping the additional candy when you just want to reach for it in the bowl at the office.
You’d better create some new mental pathways!
We spoke here about Ann Graybiel’s research that new habits come about when a new neural pathway is strong enough. And we spoke here about the benefit of daily practice toward achieving anything in life.
That’s what happens on Mondays. Your old neural pathways want to kick in. Especially if you used to eat butter on any old day of the week, and now you’re limiting yourself to the weekends.
So what can you do to counteract that strong urge, that mental temptation?
1) As Ann Graybiel says, do not allow yourself trigger situations. Don’t go into a bar if you’re getting sober. Don’t have M&M’s in the house if you have a no-chocolate resolution. Don’t have butter in your home – always go out to have butter.
2) And her second suggestion, make the new habit stronger than the first habit. Create stronger, more firm new neural pathways. Make the old habits into a piece of thread, and the old habits as reinforced as a thick sailor’s rope.
And the funniest thing – daily practice. Each time you say “no” to something you don’t want and say “yes” to something you want, you are increasing the chances of being able to say “yes” to the good habit again later, you are increasing self-regulation.
Happy daily practicing of your best habits!